A First for Everything

I was reminded today of how great firsts are in life. There's nothing quite like the first time you try something, no matter how mundane or marvelous. It's a first impression, that, more or less, will last with you an entire lifetime. There's the first boyfriend or girlfriend, the first innocent kiss in the garage, the first hand-holding, the first grade, the first time you had your training wheels taken off your bike. Firsts can also be a drag, such as the first time someone knock you in the jaw, the first time you lose a tooth, the first zit, the first time you discover there is no Santa, the first real break up. Of course, then you can look forward to your first car, your first REAL date (accompanied by your first REAL kiss), and some other firsts that I am sure our parents would rather not want to know about us. Getting to first base, the first man and woman, the first state of Delaware (my home state, thank you), the first colored major league baseball player, the first woman in space, this first paragraph - all tremendous firsts in our private and public lives. Everything has a first.

However, I am not here to talk about any of that. I am here to indulge you, and myself, into some firsts that REALLY matter when it comes to the little pleasures in life, because, after all, isn't that what life is all about - the little pleasures? Little pleasures like opening up a carton of Breyer's ice cream, busting out the ice cream scooper with the little flippy thing, starting at one end, and smoothly skimming the surface from one end of the carton to the other. A frozen vanilla fudge curl arcing and folding into itself, slowly and erotically before being plunked down into your bowl. That first taste of ice cream that sets your taste buds ricocheting in all directions deciding, in panic mode, "Just what the hell flavor is this, anyway!?!?" before the red alert dies down and a murmur ripples through your taste buds, "It's ok, folks, it's vanilla fudge". Then, your taste buds do the Snoopy Dance.

Don't even try to deny it. It's with everything. How awesome is it to be the first to break the creamy surface of a freshly-opened jar of peanut butter? That first bowl of cereal on Saturday morning? That first cup of cawfee? That first bite of pizza or the first chomp on a carefully-crafted Dagwood sandwich? For the smokers and drinkers out there, you don't need me to tell you just how toe-curling that first drag from the first cigarette from a fresh pack is or that first whip-back of whiskey or beer (or both) after a long week of reattaching that ass you just worked off.

How many of us love the smell of a new car and driving it for the first time? Ok,hands down. How many of us have had a father or grandfather who would thump you in the head for reading his newspaper before he did. Hmmm, same number of hands. It's not like the news was going to change, but he had to be the FIRST to read it.

The fact is that you can never really go home again, according to some famous white person whom I never took the time nor energy to remember. That first year in the dorms or your first apartment; that first rinky-dink house with ideas of making it look like an adult lived there, the first holiday you hosted, the first time you had the girls over for margaritas and gossip or the guys over for burgers and the football game.- or both over for poker night.

Remember the first time you went to Walt Disney World or other similar vacation destination? Going back may have been fun, but it just wasn't the same anymore. Remember turning 10, then 13, then 16, 18, and 21? Great years since you were first A) in double digits, B) a teenager, C) legal driving age, D) an official adult, and E) legal drinking age. After that, it's 30, 40, 50. and ever-increasing, vanity-thieving landmarks. And, sadly, more and more of us have had the pleasure of walking down the aisle more than once - and although those first marriages that ended in divorce were not necessarily happy circumstances, I'll wager that the marriage day itself was like no other.

I dream of a day where computer chips, manufacturing by ultra-smart monkeys, will be implanted into our brains to make us feel like everything we do and experience feels like the first time we ever had that particular experience. Gone will be the disappointment and the yearning. Gone will be the deja vu. How about that? Every kiss will feel like the first, every ball game you attend will be just like when your uncle or aunt took you, and every time you re-read my essays, you'll be moved to heights of ecstasy.

Yeah, that'll be a first.