I Hope There's a Heaven (For Liz)

I hope there's a Heaven.

I found out last night my best friend, Liz Roberts, passed away this weekend. I have felt lost and untethered ever since. She was the best person I have ever known in this world. She made me a better person, a better man. More importantly, she made me want to be a better man. She was nonjudgmental and endlessly encouraging. She was everything that was good and right in this world. She was smart, compassionate, very witty and dear. I talked with her every day for over four years. She lived in Connecticut while I was in Delaware. Every night, at seven, we would talk about everything and nothing. The fact we never ran out of things to talk and laugh about speaks volumes about the friendship we had

I hope there's a Heaven, because she had to weather some of the worst circumstance I have ever known a person to handle. In the space of a short period of time, she lost her mother, father, brother, younger sister, best girlfriends and the husband of another best friend. She suffered two heart attacks, contracted a staph infection and came down with pneumonia - all suffered while she was in the hospital. Could you blame her for being stubborn about going back when her health took a severe downturn? I hope she is with her husband, Bryce, and renewing her life with him. She adored him beyond measure and I would have gladly traded my life for his. THAT is how much I cared for her. That is how much she cared for me. We did not have a romantic relationship, but we loved each other very much. I miss her laugh. I miss her care. I miss her simple elegance. I miss her.

I hope there's a Heaven so she can smile down on her young children, Kate and Matt, and her lovable puppy, Tiggy. I feel like I have watched them grow. We talked about them constantly and we joked how I would chaperone Kate whenever she went on a date. We laughed about how wonderful it was when Matt hit his first home run in Little League this year. She let me come up with suggestions for the kids's birthdays, science projects and dinner menus. She adored her children and puppy. I feel so very bad for them. I love them, too, like they were my own children. And I always will.

I hope there's a Heaven so her sister, Julie, brother-in-law, Charlie, and nephew, Jared, can rest assured Liz is gone, but waiting for them on the other side. Julie was phenomenal, making sure her younger sister had everything she needed, not waiting to be asked - just knowing, as only a loving sister could, what Liz's needs were. If situations were reversed, I am sure Julie would agree Liz would do the very same for her. That says a lot for their parents, Gladys and Milton, and for themselves as siblings. They had such a tremendous bond and love for each other that it is difficult to imagine we live in a world of cold distance and selfish interest. Charlie was always involved in trying to make things easier for everyone, including Liz. He has the heart of a lion and the love of a great woman. Jared was always doing things for Liz, from cutting her grass to running errands to just stopping by for a visit to talk, nephew to aunt. She was so incredibly proud of him, and just like our many, many talks about her kids, we had just as many about Jared. I feel like he is my nephew, too.

I hope there's a Heaven so God has taken Liz into his embrace and took all her pain away. I hope her suffering is over and that her spirit exists somewhere. I would gladly volunteer my soul to Hell if it would guarantee she has a place in Heaven. The world is in such sort supply of great people, of people who do not push their agendas on others, of people who actually listen instead of just waiting for their turn to talk, of people who volunteer themselves to others before needing to be asked. There is a pain in my heart I have no idea will ever pass, but if it does, it's because of the love of my best friend, Liz. She was a much better person than me and I will strive to be the best person I can be every day, for her and for me. If I can find a way to harness my love for her to others in my life, to family, friends, acquaintances and strangers, I feel I would be carrying on her legacy. I wish everyone knew her. I pity those who never had that chance.

I hope there's a Heaven so I can carry that hope to embrace her and let her know just how much she meant to me. I love you, Liz, and I always will. When this world is through with me, I hope the way your influence has impacted my life will mean I can ask Bryce if I can have one dance with you in Heaven.

I hope.